Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Fairytale & Recipe: Brownies



Yes, ladies and gentlemen!! BROWNIES!! I love brownies. I don't know of anyone who doesn't ... wait...

Yes... I have... some freak that didn't like chocolate--but DON'T WORRY!! I did 'em in!!

(((ATTENTION: watch "My Fair Lady" before you jump to conclusions as to what "doing someone in" means.)))  


BEEEEP THIS IS A FREE MESSAGE.

 What was I saying?? OH!! BROWNIES!! Right... Let's pull out a little piece of memory lane, dust it off, and polish it up by sharing with you all a story. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!!

Once upon a time in a far away island, in the middle of the Pacific, there lived a young girl with three homes. One home belonged to her mother, the second belonged to her father's parents, and the third to her mother's parents. Each home cooked the most delicious meals--but ONE home in particular, baked. The second. In this home, the best brownies in the world were baked... Soft, warm, chocolatey brownies--brilliant with a paper-thin shiny crust on top in a deep, beautiful crown-shaped silver-tin. Actually, it was round. The tin was round. LET'S SAY THAT TOGETHER, CLASS!! THE... TIN... WA--Okay, nevermind.

Back to my story... If you haven't understood yet, I was that little girl... I begged and begged the fair woman who lived in that home to bake me brownies--HER brownies every time I visited. FIRST, MACARONI AND CHEESE, followed by brownies. Oh, my, that macaroni and cheese was REALLY something... But NOTHING if not finished off with by her brownies. HER brownies. They were lovely...  Oh sweet brownies...



A few years passed, the little girl gained a year or two more, and those who lived in the second house moved to the middle of nowhere (a.k.a-Gardnerville, NV). Brownies and macaroni and cheese were no longer made!! The little girl remained on her island paradise, but few months passed before she said "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I NEED MY MAC AND BROWNIES!!"  Actually, her mother sent her to NV to visit her grandparents. And, as I lay my suitcase onto the floor- I SMELT IT!! Those warm, crusty, fudgey brownies!! And as I traveled nearer to where that witchcraft-like scent derived--I saw a strange red box with the photo of the very object that bewitched me in that moment... With the name- claiming all royalties to it's goodness- all credit- went to..............

BETTY CROCKER!!!  WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!

IT LOOKED LIKE THIS!!

AAAHHHH!!!


I PANICKED!!! I began to swear sweat, and kept replaying the wicked scenes in my mind- the disillunionment!! HOMEMADE BROWNIES MY EYE!! The simple, plain TRUTH was that I had been deceived!! ALL THOSE YEARS!! All this time the merit should have gone to another woman entirely!! WWWWHAAAT?!?

What lies... What deception... OH THE TRAUMA!!  Wanna know why?? BECAUSE BETTY CROCKER DOESN'T EXIST IN ITALY!! DANGIT!!

I have been searching everywhere for the perfect brownie recipe that calls for as few ingredients as possible--AVAILABLE ingredients, that is. Oh long, long be my heart with such memories filled!! ((will share the poem later))...  The perfect brownie recipe that is semi-fudgey, shiny-crusted, easy and quick RECIPE...

I think that I found it FINALLY...

And it goes like this...

PSSST!! Forget the low-fat crap--otherwise I'll disconnect your internet... BEWARE...

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cups butter
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 cup flour
3 eggs

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350*F.
In a pot, melt butter and sugar. Add in cocoa and mix well, by hand. Add in eggs and flour. Fold in well. Pour in a baking pan/dish and place in center of middle rack for 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Note*: Sometimes I take it out even if the toothpick doesn't come out completely clean because I like  it a little fudgey and it continues cooking anyway, even when you take it out.


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And there you have it folks... My Fairytale & Recipe... What?? Huh?? You wanna know about the macaroni and cheese? If it was homemade or not?? DARN YOU!! DARN YOU ALL TO HECK!! (name that movie*)

(((inhaling))).... Let's just say that there was a mytseriously thin, small blue box that went by the name "KRAFT"... But that is another story for another time. (((tearing))) OH!! POOR ME!! THE WICKED(LY WONDERFUL) BLUE BOX NAMED KRAFT!!



What a sick joke they played on my as a child...

Not that I mind... minded...

THANK YOU TO HOUSE 1, 2, AND 3 FOR NOURISHING ME WITH ALL THE GOODNESS (EDIBLE, TOO) THIS WORLD COULD OFFER... EVEN THE BOXED KIND!!

MUCH LOVE

7 comments:

  1. Ha ha, good story! Got a good laugh out of it. No Betty Crocker in Italy? That stinks! ~babs~ (aka babskitchen)

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  2. Shhhh my grand-daughter is still under the spell that I'm the best cookie maker in the land......Thank gawd for Toll House

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  3. Love the Italian - Hawaiian flavor. I'm of Italian decent, my wife is from Maui of Japanese decent. Also love that you posted the spam musubi recipe on Tasty Kitchen to help teach people about the wonders of Spam.

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  4. It's cruel thing that adults do to children and what Betty Crocker does to the world.
    My folks destroyed my childhood innocence in one fatal stroke when they broke it to me that Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy didn't really exist. That's a lot for a kid to take in one day.
    I cried with the same heartbreak that I'm sure you cried when you found out about Mr. Betty and Mr. Kraft.
    I hope you are now at peace.

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  5. I made these brownies last night when i was having a chocolate craving and they totally hit the spot. I made them in a mini-loaf pan and folded some peanut butter into the middle. Mmmm, awesome! Thanks.
    jason

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  6. lol one time when I was babysitting I made frozen pizza for the kids and they declared that I was the best pizza maker ever! haha :)

    Anyway, I saw you on tasty kitchen and stopped over at your blog :) I actually live in eastern Europe (Belarus) and thought it was wonderful to find someone who would understand my plight of loving to cook and yet somehow NEVER having all the ingredients BECAUSE they're NOT AVAILABLE!!!! :) anyway, I was gonna add you as a friend on Tasty Kitchen and would love to chat sometime!

    Hugs, Emily

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  7. Oh my gawd! That mysterious blue box is ALWAYS in my pantry even though I'm perfectly of cooking excellent mac and cheese from scratch. Some things you just can't let go of. Let's not even mention those small bags of curly noodles with flavor packets, shall we?

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